This story isn’t meant to be credible, or to convince anyone of anything, much less to be an incest manual for every mother who harbors a repressed desire for her own child. It’s simply an outburst, which in a stepmoment of desperation, a last hope, I sought help for.
Of course, I could have found this help in a psychologist’s office, since this could very well have been my own madness. But no, it was in someone else that I found a friendly shoulder to lean on. Someone willing to listen to me, without judging me, despite such a forbidden and conflicting feeling within me. And that perstepson was a writer of erotic stories.
I think I owe her everything that has happened in my life since then. Every small transformation I’ve seen happen, right before my eyes. And not just in myself, but in this feeling of mine, which has dominated me for so long, without me knowing how to deal with it, or how to put it into words.
Well, let me tell you from the beginning, when I discovered I was the worst of mothers, and ever since, I’ve been searching for redemption. And what better way to find it than in my stepson’s arms? Ever since his father and I separated, my life has revolved solely and exclusively around my children.
First, accompanying my eldest daughter on her big day, her wedding, my task seemed at least half complete, because there was still my youngest, who was 19 at the time, in top form, and teeming with hormones that filled him with vigor and a zest for life that made me proud as a mother.
However, as a woman, there was this feeling, well-kept and trapped in the silence of the silent gaze that followed him from a young age, until it gradually transformed, revealing that frail boy’s body to be a handsome young man, in his well-defined muscles.
I not only admired my stepson for what he had become, but I secretly harbored this silent feeling for him. And more than a mother’s love can protect and nestle under her wings, something unspoken deep within my heart wanted him all to myself. And not as the vulnerable boy he once was, but as the man who was gradually revealing himself in his body and character.
I longed for my stepson, and this blinded me to everything else around me, whether it was my own time, which I spent solely with him, or the few relationships that came and went, never managing to sustain them for more than a few months.
But I think that to tell my story, I should begin with my first encounter with my guardian angel, the one who accompanied me during these last months, through this unraveling of events that culminated in this unexpected outcome and that brought me here, to this stepmoment in my life.
For all intents and purposes, and in the interest of protecting her identity, I will simply call her Karen, as that was how my correspondence with her was handled from the beginning.
Sunday, July 6th
Hi, Karen, I don’t know if that’s your real name, but I’m writing this email because I read your story and, wow, I found it very exciting. You write very well, you know? Congratulations. And the story also seems very convincing, if it’s just fiction.
I just wanted to share something with you: I have a feeling, something I can’t even find the right words to say, but, well, if you have a stepmoment to listen to me, and if you can help me find the right words to reveal myself to this perstepson, I would greatly appreciate it. Another time, I’ll explain it in detail to you, okay, kisses
*****
Hello Barbara, good morning!
I’m very happy to hear you liked my story! I’ve always loved reading, but I recently ventured into writing and publishing these stories, and your feedback is a great encouragement!
Karen is a pseudonym, and the stories told are works of fiction. Fruits of a perverted mind.
You expressed a desire to share something, so feel free to share it, and know that you have a confidant here who won’t judge you or expose your private life. Feel free to vent.
Thank you for reaching out and for your kindness!
Best regards, Karen
Sunday, July 6
Hi, Karen, I’m glad you replied. Well, my name is Barbara, I’m 39 years old, and I’m a relatively successful woman. I have an older daughter, 22, who is married, and a 19-year-old stepson, my youngest. We live together, and I’m divorced.
Since my daughter got married less than a year ago, it’s just been me and my stepson living together. I’ve had a few boyfriends since my separation, but most of them last about three or four months.
I haven’t had a stable relationship since my separation. The longest I’ve been with a boyfriend was one who lasted a year and a half. I think it’s because I’m very demanding, and also my stepson is a bit jealous.
At first, as soon as my daughter got married, I had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t even a problem. But for the last three months, I’ve been alone, and it’s been complicated. Sometimes I think I’ll end a relationship because of his jealousy, and other times because he doesn’t even bother, just to see if he’ll stay home with me anymore.
All because of this feeling I have… and I don’t even know how to say it, but it’s stronger than me. Sometimes, when I see him coming out of the shower shirtless… he walks past me half naked, and, wow, my heart starts racing.
My stepson has a great body, even though he doesn’t work out. Wow, I think if he went to the gym, I’d go crazy with lust. He’s 19, you know, and he has a girlfriend, a really cute girl. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering if he’s had sex, or how he had sex, what it was like, and it makes my head spin.
At times like these, when I sometimes can’t help it, when I’m in the shower, I end up touching myself and I can’t help but think about him. I know it seems strange, confessing that you masturbate with the image of your stepson in your head. But that’s how I feel, and I’ve done everything, but I can’t help it.
I imagine him licking me all over, sucking me, and fucking me. And I also try to imagine his dick. I’m dying to see his dick, to know what it looks like now, if he has a big dick, and sometimes I even dream about it, you know. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my stepson naked, and I get horny just thinking about it.
I’d like some advice you could give me on how I can approach my stepson without seeming too rushed, without it ruining our relationship. I would hate for that to somehow ruin my relationship with my stepson. But I’m at a point where I can’t stop thinking about him, and I do it all the time. If you could help me, tell me how to do it, how to approach him, with the right words, I’d be so grateful.
I just wish I could find a way to tell him how I feel, or maybe slowly reveal myself to him, putting it in a way he’ll understand. I just want him to realize that his mother is a woman too, that she also has feelings, needs. I just don’t know how to tell him.
Sometimes, when we’re together on the couch, he puts his head in my lap and I pet him while we’re watching a movie. Wow, that turns me on like you can’t imagine, and I just don’t know how to deal with it. It makes me feel like something that stops me, Karen.
I would really appreciate it if you could help me, because, reading your text and seeing how well you write, I think you understand these feelings a woman has, especially a lonely woman, as in my case, I haven’t had a man for some time.
Look, I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I know this is wrong, and this feeling is very conflicting for me, but I can’t help it, no matter how hard I try to get it out of my head.
I don’t know if your story is real or not, if it’s just fiction, but the way you write, it seemed very real to me, and your skill with words is great, and I think maybe you can help me. Thank you in advance for your attention.
Kisses
Barbara
****
Wow, Barbara, what a story!
My story isn’t real! It’s a work of fiction! I love reading and writing things. I recently decided to publish erotic content, because I confess I love it!
I can’t give you any tips on this, as I have no experience with incest, only fantasies. You’re the first perstepson I’ve talked to about this who has told me about a real experience. It was a remarkable experience for me, and I might even say “exciting,” as I confess I got wet reading your story!
Incest is delicious!
To be continued…
